Sniff What I’m Steppin’ In

I was in a waiting room not too long ago, eyelids heavy from the lack of oxygen, the low ceilings that look like styrofoam, and the decade-old Reader’s Digests strewn across various end tables.  Suddenly though, my boredom halted as I noticed an article about a new trend among the fit, firm and fanatically healthy [...]

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What up with the whole BMI thing (Body Mass Index).  That little part of me that will always obsess about weight just found this site.  What’s different about this BMI calculator is that the dude also has an “Ideal Weight” calculator.  For all of us who still secretly obsess (or not so secretly), here’s that [...]

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I love tweezing.  Plucking, popping, tweezing, waxing - anything that rids the skin of puss, unwanted hair, blackheads, zits, errant back hairs (men!) or whatnot.  And I know not everyone shares my fetish with tweezers.  But Madonna has taken it too far.  It might be time for an intervention.
Before you read any further and start [...]

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This is my new favorite product, and after hours scouring the web one day, I learned that it’s difficult to find.  On many sites, it’s out of stock or backordered.  To my dismay!  But of course I found some - on a site called BeautyBridge.com, and the two small bottles of liquid gold arrived in [...]

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I went to the Asheville Mall the other day after work because I needed to experience that buzz of being around a ton of strangers.  I miss that about a city - Asheville is a happenin’ place but it’s not as if one can sit on the sidewalk and experience that buzz of strange life.  Well, if you didn’t grow up here, [...]

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I recently had the pleasure of discovering Banler.com, a family-owned online business that provides premiere skincare, smilecare, nailcare and other beauty care products at discounted rates.  I’ve always been a fan of Sephora, but I like the added content that Banler provides - helps me understand what the hell I’m about to trust my big [...]

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Dear Dove,
You promised me a new best friend in this SkinVitalizer by that crafty little marketing ploy on your website, saying “Meet Your New Best Friend.”
Au contraire, mon frere!  The Dove SkinVitalizer is a relatively affordable electric skin-buffing tool that, quite frankly, makes me nauseous.  It jars my entire head, sending bad vibrations into the skull via [...]

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Dear Clinique Moisture Surge Extra Thirsty Skin Relief,
Thank you for helping me fool everyone into thinking I am actually awake and put together in the morning.  Thank you for making my cheeks feel like rose petals (at least until I walk outside into August-in-NC humidity, (God bless it)). 
Thank you for helping me fool the world [...]

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I’m scared….by the state of fug among celebrities these days. Don’t they know that I need them to look gorgeous with perfect bodies so that I can continue my life-long complex over my love-handles, pot-hole-sized nose pores, and snot scar under my right nostril? What would I do, what would any of us do frankly, [...]

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Dear Bliss Serious Seaweed Cellulite Soap,
I thought you would help me prevent yucky thighs, but all you do is scratch my skin with those spiky seaweed pieces on your “bumpy face.”  You make me want to throw you away and simply buy a thighmaster.
Thanks for playin.
Me

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I apologize to anyone who reads my blog, for I have not written in just over a month.
Three reasons:
-been out of town quite a bit for the past two months, am pooped and short on time during work week too
-very into my book, Special Topics in Calamity Physics by one Marisha Pessl, who I grew [...]

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Dear Workout Fairy (are you John Basedow???? Come on TELL ME! I still believe…in you and the tooth fairy but not Santa or the Smaller Pore Fairy, EFF THEM…anyway),
Please re-awaken the 9 am Starbucks that was in me and help me find the energy to go to the gym. Please get me [...]

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As I approach the big 3-0, I decided to embrace the Lauren-Graham-wannabe in me and become a brunette. So since I used to be:
Now I’m this, except not as red as it looks in the picture and, no, I’m not storing nuts in my cheeks contrary to what it may seem - it’s just [...]

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Dear Bliss Fabulous Foaming Facewash,
You make me want to be a better facewasher.
Love, Me

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